It’s okay to not be okay.
How many times have we heard that one? Every time I face an issue, regardless of it’s severity, undoubtedly someone will look at me and say, “well you know, it’s okay to not be okay.” And each time I politely smile, all the while thinking the opposite. I have found that many people like to say this phrase and those similar as a feel good statement. Or something for when they don’t really know what else to say.
To me, this is the gentle way of saying,
“It’s okay that you have mascara staining your cheeks like a bad halloween costume”
“It’s okay that you have snot on your upper lip”
“It’s okay that you aren’t making real words, only sounds, in between gasps”
“It’s okay to cry out a small body of water”
Basically, in my mind it’s like saying “You’re a train wreck right now, but you don’t focus on that right now- let it out, I won’t judge.”
Or sometimes, they say it when I’m stone faced at a bad situation. When I’m trying to seem tough. They say, “well you know, it’s okay to not be okay.” as to say “you should be upset right now, so you need to show me that you feel something.” It’s okay to show emotion. Let it out.
In handling a situation in front of people, I fall into one of two extremes: too little or too much. There is no middle ground for me. I’m either a big obvious ball of emotion, or I put up a wall and don’t show anyone what’s going on inside. Regardless, I begin to do what I do best – analyze.
Is it genuine? Do they care? Do I look as bad as I feel? Are they really prepared for me to open the floodgates? I always tend to look at what I think these people may be hinting at, all the while ignoring the words they’re actually speaking. And you know what? As much as my past self scoffed at these people, they’re right. It is legitimately okay to not be okay. As long as you don’t remain in that place.
God created us with the ability to cry tears, so obviously they serve a purpose. We will experience disappointment, heartbreak, loss, betrayal, fear. That is normal. Being not okay is normal. But we weren’t created to stay that way. We were created for intimacy with our Creator. For worship. For joy. For love. For fellowship. That is His desire for us. However, He is also there for us when we are broken, wounded, and staring at Him with tear-filled eyes.
Part of our healing is bringing our broken selves to the Healer.
And that, is just right.
Psalm 61:2 (AMP)
“From the end of the earth will I cry to You, when my heart is overwhelmed and fainting; lead me to the Rock that is higher than I”