On healing and following the heart.

Healing.
It seems like we always want to be better off.
To be healthy.
To be joyful.
To have clarity.
To have things easier.
To feel whole.
To have consistency.
To be healed.

So why do we consistently make choices and behave in ways that result in the opposite?
This isn’t about what’s out of our control – because those things happen. This is about our choices.

Sometimes we get life so backwards.
We ask for things that may seem a little painful at the time to be taken from us, knowing that their outcome will be beneficial and good for us. All the while, we accept and make bad decisions because they are what seem easy or satisfying to the flesh in the present – even though we know that their outcome is to out detriment.

But why?

It’s easy.

It’s that simple, and that complicated.
Easy.

I find myself having an unpleasant disposition towards that word as of late.
Don’t get me wrong, as a college student I know that easy can have its perks. But in life, it can also have awful, awful results.
Such as:

When I say I want to be healthy but I allow my busy schedule to allow me to skip meals.
When I desire joy and yet I surround myself with negativity.
When I seek clarity but still immerse myself in the confusion I need clarity from.
When I want things to be easier way but then I cut corners, & miss out on valuable lessons.
When I search to feel whole, and then turn to the world to feel complete.
When I say I’m going to do one thing, and then do another, I develop a habit of inconsistency in my life.
When I claim I want to be healed, and yet I never consult the Lord about my afflictions.

And I often find myself making those choices because they’re the most natural even though they cause me to stumble and fall. Check out Romans 7 if you don’t believe me. They’re the easy choice – the quick fix. When I find myself making choices that I’m fully aware may hurt in the long run, It’s because they often are very worldly and flesh-driven thoughts. But they almost always offer immediate satisfaction. That unhealthy relationship? It still gives me emotional attention. That confusing situation? It’s comfortable. It can wait another day to fix. That pain I feel? I want to try and fix it myself first, and then I’ll ask the Lord for help if I cant. And the list could go on and on… In order to truly find healing, clarity, joy, wholeness, etc – I cannot seek fulfillment of those things in myself or in this world alone. First and foremost, It must come from Christ. Which leads me to the next thing:

“Just follow your heart…”

Just like the word easy, I have had an aversion to this phrase lately.
Yes. There are plenty of times in life where choosing to simply “follow your heart” is a completely acceptable, and at times, noble decision. Likewise, following your heart can also lead to more heartbreak and confusion than we could ever imagine.

I know that I’m going against every Rom-Com, cheesy romance novel, teenage Pinterest board, and so many other things. I’m fully aware. And I’m okay with that.

Because I do have a reason. This isn’t grown out of my single self hating on all things love. In fact, I love the idea of falling and being in love. I think it’s a beautiful gift from God. But that being said, it doesn’t mean I condone following what the heart wants as the end all be all of advice. And this is why…

The heart is a delicate and fragile thing. And sometimes the decision that someone may be advising us to follow our heart with, or that we keep trying to convince ourself of that same thing could be going directly against God’s plan for us. “But how can that be possible?” you might ask, “God created our heart. How could it go against His will?”

Because our heart is no different than the rest of us. God created man, and man still turns from Him daily. And just like the enemy targets us at our weakest points, he also can attack our hearts. And in those moments, it is vital that I no longer use solely my judgement (my human, flawed judgement), but rather seek to see things through the eyes of my Father and use the judgement of Christ.

When I want in my heart to be in a relationship that I know will harm me emotionally, physically, spiritually –
I should not follow my heart.

When I want in my heart to have sex or act inappropriately outside of marriage, regardless of being in love with them or not –
I should not follow my heart.

When I desire in my heart to make that visit, send that text, or make that phone call that I know will place me in a compromising situation –
I should not follow my heart.

When I have anger, resentment, bitterness, and hate in my heart that I want to act on –
I should not follow my heart.

When I have the urge in my heart to sneak around or be deceitful –
I should not follow my heart.

When I know in my heart that what I want goes directly against my values –
I should not follow my heart.

You get the idea?

While there are times that following your heart can be a rewarding decision, it is crucial to carefully decide when to make that decision. It is so important to pray and ask the Lord for discernment in those times of decision making. While the heart can allow us to feel amazing things, I also is a repeat offender of ignoring logic and reason and even what the Lord ultimately desires for us. Choosing to take the path that is at times more difficult, but is the right path and choosing to make the choice that honors God even if it may not be what my heart wants is not a “cool” thing to do. It is not an effortless thing. It is not the easy choice. It isn’t even always the choice that provides me with immediate results, satisfaction or happiness. But making the choice and following the path that honors the Lord is the right choice, and it is the choice that gives me the hope of eternity with Him.

Ask for accountability and wise counsel on these things.
Pray for the strength to see past the now.
Pray for the ability to seek eternity.
Pray to be more like Him, think more like Him.
Pray to see Him.