Perfect outfit. Perfect Pictures. Perfect home. Perfect life.
Well. Sometimes, right.
As I’m writing this, I’m sitting in my living room surrounded by pillows on the floor, shoes scattered all over my entryway, dirty dishes waiting to be cleaned, dirty laundry piled up upstairs, and the remains of two graduate papers waiting on me. Not to mention, I could probably do well to wash my hair.
Far less than perfect.
Have you ever been so busy that you felt like no matter what you did you just couldn’t catch up? This week (and many weeks prior, to be honest) I’ve felt like I’ve been running full sprint but every time I near the finish line, it moves just a little further away. A little busyness every now and again is fine, but when your life becomes too busy, it can be destructive. Each person can only juggle so many things at once before they drop everything. Lately I’ve felt the kind of busyness that feels suffocating, dizzying, and overextended. For me, it leads to loss of appetite, moments of anxiety, exhaustion, and feeling detached from those around me who have time for ‘fun’. It actually makes me sick. It even leads to lack of focus on the things I need to be doing. Busyness keeps us from the things that fill our soul. Writing, for instance, in my case. My last blog post was 7 months ago. Seriously, 7. One week turns into one month, into multiple months, and suddenly you’re in the space I found myself standing in today.
Like most people, though, I always feel like I have things kept wrapped in a bow and calm on the surface. I thought I was doing well keeping everything together until my boyfriend made a comment that stopped my sprint dead in its tracks:
“I’m concerned. I know you’ve had a lot on your plate, and you’re doing great but you just don’t seem like you’ve been enjoying life as much”
My sprint not only ended, but in that moment I fell flat.
If he’s noticed, who else has? And for how long? How long have I noticed?
What a wake up call. So tonight, I’m taking a couple hours to myself.
Do I have a lot to get done? Yes.
Do I have things that I would like to do? Yes.
Am I bothered by the mess in my house? Yes.
Despite all of those reasons and then some, I’m taking some time.
Busyness is not worth losing sleep.
Busyness is not worth losing relationships.
Busyness is not worth losing myself.
Busyness is not worth losing a connection with my Creator.
My relationship with Christ is number one and anything that comes in between that relationship needs reevaluation. Sometimes, He speaks to me through others; which is exactly what He did when I heard the words “concerned” and “don’t seem like you’ve been enjoying life”. I realized that the same worry Sean has for me, Christ holds that much more intensely. He wants me to be healthy, strong, and to enjoy the life He has laid out for me. I can only do that when I’m focused on Him, and listening to what my body is telling me.
We were created for community. For meaningful relationships. If I’m isolating myself, I am missing out on one of the greatest parts of life that God has for me. It’s okay to say no sometimes to going out when a deadline is staring you in the face, but it’s also okay to let yourself unwind with friends and family for a little while. It’s actually more than okay, it’s healthy.
So, the pillows can wait.
As can the shoes, the dishes, the laundry, the work, and the shampoo.
But some time to rest and refuel my body cannot. And just as important, some quiet, quality time with my Creator cannot either.
Busy can be good. But busy with no balance can be very, very bad.
So enjoy busyness; but also enjoy friendships, family, meals, and the pieces that lead to a full life.
This week, for just a little bit of time, I challenge you to choose slow, choose quiet, choose joy in Him.